Online commenters have backed up a woman who said in a now-viral post that she recently made her 17-year-old niece feel “like a monster”.
Posting on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under the username u/AgreeableAffect7090, the woman said she lost her 15-year-old daughter last year, and her niece compared this loss to the death of his dog. . In response, u/AgreeableAffect7090 “yelled” at her niece. The publication has received more than 8,600 votes in favor and hundreds of comments criticizing the insensitivity of the teenager.
lose a child
Deborah Carr, Ph.D., chair of Boston University’s sociology department, told Fatherly that the death of a child is considered by many to be “the worst stressor a person can go through.”
“Parents feel specifically responsible for the child’s well-being. So when they lose a child, they’re not just losing a person they loved. They’re also losing years of promise that they hoped for,” Carr said.
Several experts also told the publication that the pain associated with losing a child is often “more intense” than “classic grief.”
“In the first year after losing a minor child, a parent is at increased risk for suicide and everything from major depression to complicated grief,” said Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist at the Weill-Cornell School of Medicine at New York Presbyterian Hospital. Paternal.
Saltz explained that “complicated grief” differs from “normal grief” in that “there are more intense symptoms, alternating with seemingly no symptoms, a numbness, potentially affecting your ability to function.”
Carr added that some parents “learn to live with loss,” while others “struggle to find meaning in life.”
In their post, u/AgreeableAffect7090 said their 15-year-old daughter was killed in a car accident last year, and although she is in therapy, she is unable to enter her daughter’s room.
“I haven’t been able to clean her room or get into her room, so she’s the same as she was when she was alive,” she said. “My husband doesn’t go in there either, and we keep the door closed.”
So when her niece came to visit last week, u/AgreeableAffect7090 and her husband made the teen a bed on the couch.
“He asked why he couldn’t sleep in the ‘guest room’ and I told him we didn’t have one,” wrote u/AgreeableAffect7090. “[My] The niece said she now thought our daughter’s room was the guest room. I explained to her that we hadn’t been able to change anything yet, and she rolled her eyes and said it was a year ago, and that [needed] go ahead.”
From there, things only got worse.
“When I started crying, she tried to apologize and, I think in an attempt to relate, said that she had taken the loss of her dog very badly, but she got over it in a year, and I yelled that my son was not a dog.” said u/AgreeableAffect7090.
Redditor u/AgreeableAffect7090’s husband sent his niece home, and her sister later accused her of being unreasonable.
“[She said] I did [my] niece ‘feels like a monster,'” concluded u/AgreeableAffect7090. “AITA?”
Reddit users react
Redditors said u/AgreeableAffect7090’s reaction was perfectly reasonable and criticized his niece’s callousness.
“NTA [not the a**hole]. I needed to learn one way or another that it’s never okay to equate the loss of a child with the loss of a pet,” u/Sweeper1985 said. “Your reaction was pain, you really can’t be blamed.”
“She feels like a monster because she behaved like a monster. For a 17 year old to be so cruel and insensitive, she needs to face some consequences,” u/nottheblackhat wrote.
Redditor u/Bl0ndeFox added: “NTA. A 17 year old should know better…you’re still grieving, and she was being rude and insensitive. This may sound cruel, but maybe your niece needed to have this feeling of ‘being a monster’ to wake up a little”.
news week reached out to u/AgreeableAffect7090 for comment.
More viral posts
A couple sparked an online debate Monday after admitting they refused to pay their son’s college tuition after he came out as gay.
Redditors endorsed a teenage girl who, on Monday, said she contacted her biological father after learning she was the product of an affair.
And last week, commenters backed a man who told his younger siblings about their mother’s secret affair, causing them to hate her.